Sorry about the lack of the promised art, as soon as I can I will be uploading here (I'm not entirely sure when that will be) but I do have a reason
At the beginning of this year I received multiple death threats from people I stopped associating with in the seventh grade. Then, about a month ago, two boys threatened to rape me when I was alone in the hallways. The camera was right there to capture the incident, but its DVR was broken, so the school can't figure out who they were and I'm screwed until the end of the year. I have also been utterly overwhelmed by my 3 AP courses, Literature, Biology and Studio Art, as well as Spanish 5 which is a college course (and other class requisites). That explains the lack of art.
That's the update. So you don't need to read the rest, it's just for me to explain and get everything out for myself
My family has never been a great one by any means, but the last four years have been absolute hell. I have been betrayed and completely abandoned by some of my relatives. My deceased father's side of the family never bothers with me. My grandparents pretend to care to some degree, but as soon as they think I'm not in the house, they talk badly about me. They say that they don't want me around, that I'm annoying, lazy, and that they hate me. My mom and I seem to be growing apart no matter how I try to talk about/fix it. I'm losing my "family" bit by bit. I've become a burden to my friends, so much so that I fear I'll lose them too, who wants a friend that's never happy or ok? I've been trying to dig myself out of this hole I've fallen into, but I can't. I've spent the last month crying for hours everyday (which caused my bio teacher to call the social worker to talk to me about what happened with the boys, etc). I just so sad all the time, no matter what I try to do, I don't care about the things I used to anymore. The people I used to be really close to on DA seem to have better friends, they don't need me at all anymore so I try not to bother them by talking to them. I've become nothing but a self-loathing burden to everyone around me. They would be better off without me weighing them down all the time. I've gotten into self harm, and can't stop thinking about wanting to die. I really think God hates me or something, I wish I was never here. I really don't know what to do anymore